A new star in the heavens......

'Herby' Benaszeski

1926 ~ 2009

"Perhaps they are not stars at all...

but openings in which,

our loved ones watch over us all..."

"You will be so dearly missed..."

Christmas is over!

Thank heavens for that! I know some of you are going, "What?!" Yeah... it's true, I can be a bit "Scroogey" by this time of the year. My main complaint is not the celebration, the time with loved ones, etc... it's the utter, commercialization of the season as a whole.

I detest Christmas music, commercials, city decoration up and lit a few days after Halloween! Seriously! I'm at Wally-World to pick up some Halloween candy and right across the aisle they're setting up Christmas wreaths! I could have just screamed!

That isn't Christmas! Christmas is very important and filled with celebration for those that believe Jesus Christ, their Saviour, was born. It is a time when you should always greet someone with a smile, a decent attitude and a "Merry Christmas!" from your lips.

For me personally, my Christmas is tomorrow. After the hectic Thanksgiving (but some really funny moments!) we decided to make our get together after the 'Mad-Dash Holiday Race' would be over. It'll be a day of "YAY! The pressure is off!" No more , "Well, gotta go to Grandma's, then so & so's parents!"

Tomorrow at Dad's, it's "Hey! We baked a ham, there's a crock pot of BBQ, munchies, cookies... and one of Dad's chocolate cakes! Come on over!" There's no big sit down meal... grab a plate and just help yourself!" (And brother dear... I call dibs on the the blue chair till Uncle Joe gets there!)

My Aunt Rosie & Uncle Joe from Texas will be there, along with my Dad, my baby-girls, their boyfriends, my brother, my nephew and his bride... it'll be crazy, but everything is set up to be easy and fun. There's no time constraints, no other visits to race off to. Yeah... it'll be a zoo but it is so worth it! How could it not be!?

To all my loved ones...

May Your Christmas Be Happy & Bright

&

Your New Year Filled With All The Best Things Possible

For You & Yours!

Look out!

Winter snapshot in the REAL Great-White-North!

Finally! My friends are now getting dumped on and couldn't be happier! It was almost unheard of for them not to have three to four feet of snow before Thanksgiving. Word is that the snow is falling and they've gotten more than two feet. Odd as it may seem to us, "Southerners" this is welcomed heartily.

Me? I'm happy my snow dances for them worked. (Except one mistakenly worked here, but don't tell anybody!) The above picture is one taken awhile ago by friends up there. That's your standard seven foot high road sign. Seriously... this is one of the reasons I don't live there. The highway they live on is not maintained in winter. See the sign below...

This photo was actually taken in mid-May when the road had been plowed once at the start of the spring thaw. Even the heartiest of winter sport enthusiasts know that riding alone, not telling someone where you're going or when you'll be back could cost you your life.

It's scary. We're terribly spoiled when it comes to winter safety. For the most part, if we get lost or injured outside, there is almost always someone that will find you before you are in any real danger. Or we simply call someone and ask for help.

Up there, it can be days before someone can come across you, cell signals are nearly non-existent and being alone there means you're ALONE! There's no way I would ever enjoy the winter activities up there without a group of people with me. It's the safest way to play up there. Of course, the 'play' is some of the best in the world, so...

I'm working on a second box of stuff to send to my friend in Afghanistan. He's been there awhile now. I sent one already but I don't think he'll get it for Christmas but here's hoping. I mailed it about two & a half weeks ago. It doesn't hold anything other than snacks and books and 'homey' stuff like that, but it'll be Christmas soon and no one over there should go without something 'homey' too look forward to.

He was telling me that where he's at, peanut butter is considered, "Brown Gold" (Yes, I thought it odd too.) There, everything is flavored with hazelnuts either pieces or creamy spreads.

So I obliged him and picked up two huge jars (I think a pound and a half each) of Jif and I put one in each package. I laughingly told him will be the most sought after tent-mate in his area, maybe even King! Plus he'll have plenty to bribe with for better stuff! HA! Stay safe Dude... and never forget you are deeply loved!

I've been cruising eBay for books. One thing that's nice is that books are always welcomed. I found an awesome seller on eBay with books in lots, some well under $10 which is fantastic. Even if he's already read it, someone will still be able to enjoy it, as sharing books is done often.

Christmas is bearing down on us quickly now. I still find that pretty amazing. Not to mention, 2010. It's something that I never thought I would see... the first decade of the 21st century. Wow.

There's only one way to look at it, with my history. I am blessed... with time and loved ones, with love to give and love received, laughs, tears, joy and the occasional sorrow or heartbreak. For this and all of you that will read this... thank you. You hold a special place in my life now and always...

Merry Christmas!

Relatives, Labs Labs everywhere, food and laughs... the hunt is over and so we say, Thank God for Roadkill!

Opening weekend & silence in the mist...

WHAT a week! Thanksgiving brought the deer hunters, family & friends… Fog and warm weather, no snow, sneaky deer, hunting boots everywhere, a pair of Labrador Retrievers, “No! Don’t let her ou…. Crap. Go get the box of dog treats to shake. Stupid dog.”

Disappointment, “What’d ya’ see?“ “A squirrel. What about you?“ “Nothing I sure would like to find those magical herds they say we have to thin out!” “Ah… they‘re such a bunch of morons!”

I watched the only buck seen as it glided nearly silent through the woods on it’s way to the area that is zoned no hunting. I could have hit it with a rock... while in the hot tub! And I throw like a girl!

The Labs kept us entertained. Really entertained. If they weren’t dragging one another around by a pair of socks, or pretending they were “Killer Dogs” (which can be somewhat scary when you realize just how long, sharp and bright white those teeth really are!)

"No, I beg to differ. I believe it belongs to ME!"

Killer Dogs

Mine! Mine! Mine!

OH! Look! A squirrel!

Hurley & Louie, taking a break

But, as they were visiting from two separate homes, (I guess that would make them cousins?) they wanted to do nothing but play. Loudly. A trip or two to a nearby dog park helped bleed off some of the excess excitement in ball chasing and socializing. The dogs had fun too.

So there were smelly hunters, smelly dogs (Eau de Wet Dog) thanks to the rain, conversations taking place everywhere. Sometimes from room to room, which meant the dogs weren’t nearly as loud as we were!

On Thursday, we had roast beasts aplenty, beef, pork and a last minute add on… a turkey sliced cleanly in half… boy was that good! (Guess it’s been so long since I had one, I didn’t mind a little bit of it!)

Of course, the day was full of the natural order of a bunch of people, hanging out, in a house, finding a place to sit and chow down between hunting gear. (“Hey! Whose gun is in the bathroom?” Oh, ok.”)

“What do you mean you don’t want potatoes!? Cripes I made six giant bakers!”

“Where’s the bread or rolls? Ooo… heated and already buttered! Sweet!”

“You goin’ tomorrow? Yeah, me neither.”

“Is there any stuffing left? Ha, ha, ha… score!”

“Seriously? We used up all four gallons of milk already? Okay, I’ll run down to the gas station for some more.”

Of course, the best for last… Dad’s made-from-scratch pumpkin pies and deep chocolate cake. We’re nothing if not diverse!

Sadly, the hunting season drew to a close. Of our immediate family, there were no tags filled. Friends did get three. So it was lucky that we had the road kill or we wouldn’t have had any venison at all!

Of course, that is not as ‘Bubba J’ as that sounds. A deer was hit by a car in front of my brother by a guy that had no interest in it. He called the cops, to get it authorized and took it home.

This is an improvement over past years… usually he’s the one that hits the deer before deer season. So it was a happy Thanksgiving in many ways… the love and happiness connected with being around those you love, good food, lots of laughs and no insurance claims.

Let’s hope next year is just as happy and safe but with just a bit more venison tagged (& not by the cops with a legal road kill possession tag!)

HAPPY DANCE!!

Hi all!

Just a quick one, with more later... the pathology came back on the tumor that was removed, and even though we were certain it would be... It's completely BENIGN!!!

Happy Dance - Happy Dance! Happy, Happy, Happy Dance!

:) :) :)

Oh... and the reason those stitches were driving me nuts? I was having an allergic reaction to them!

Cripes. What next, eh?

At least the fricking things are out, threw the doctor for a loop when he's counting them up as he's taking them out and the count was off... I had to 'fess up and tell him, "Um... yeah, I kinda took a couple out already."

He just smiled a little and said, "Why am I even surprised?"

Fall is over in a big way!

Before the winds came...

For two days we had just killer winds. It was cold, damp, some areas had snow, some sleet, around here it was mostly rain. The wind howled non-stop for two days. By the time it was over, there were just a few leaves hanging on with all their might!

Here in the Not-So-Great-White-North, and in my city especially, the DPW has banned burning within the city limits. Of course, most citizens protested. Loudly. And often. And some weren't exactly nice about it either.

So the city made the decision that they would vacuum up the leaves if we raked them into the streets at specially designated times and dates. Most thought that was okay. No bagging them up, and having to cart them to the City-owned Yard Waste Site. Cool.

So... this vacuum thingy is the size of a dump truck. (NOT kidding!) It's like the loudest vacuum cleaner you've ever owned on steroids. Lots & lots of steroids! While I believe this service really is valuable to the city and it's residents... I just wished they didn't start near my street... at about 6:20 a.m.

Which was a drag simply because I woke up to a sound that I initially deemed to be much like the sound people describe about a tornado. And yes, I didn't need nearly as much coffee this morning. I was so adrenaline fried I don't even know why I even bothered with coffee!

I am however going to be sporting some particularly nasty bruises for awhile. It's bad enough when I smack into door frames when I just need caffeine. Bashing into them while believing that at any moment my house is about to come down around me... brutal, just flipping brutal.

Cripes.

Break out the color wheel. I may be able to patent some of the new colors.

Gees I hate stitches!

It's sort of sunny but a whole lot colder today. But the winds are kindly blowing my yards leaves into my neighbor's yards so I'm happy! (Kidding!)

I had a small benign tumor removed from my arm yesterday. Not anything major but lots of stitches to reduce potential post-procedure bleeding because of being on blood thinners. While they were a little annoying last night... they're driving me batcrap now.

I can't reach them well, that of course frustrates me to no end. They are already to starting to itch and with my bad shoulder, I can't reach them easily.

Yay.

So it's ten days and counting before they come out. Of course, I do have one sterile suture removal kit left. I wonder if the neighbor lady is squeamish? Uh-oh... maybe I better go blow my leaves off her lawn!

Answered prayers, good thoughts and a calming...

Check up was great across the board...

Tears to decompress while in the parking lot...

Did you know you can hold your breath for an entire day?

Four more months until the next one...

So now?

I hope.

Some fall pictures before the wind and rain...

Only way to get picture without the clutter of guide wires... straight up and then weirdly cropped. but still pretty.

Mid-fall, road to our lake...

A tree near some property close to a friend's place...

another long night....

Tomorrow is cancer check up day...

Actually, a little later today is cancer check up day.

I can't sleep.

I call what I'm doing, "sharking" like a Great White I circle, moving with no purpose other than to simply move.

I walk from one room to the next, looking out the same window time and again.

I turn TV on. I turn it off.

I start a 'Things to do' list. I don't finish writing it, much less complete the tasks I've written down.

I hate this.

I am this.

After all this time, after all the battles fought, the battles won...

I wait.

I wait for that look, that brief flutter of the eyes before the words come....

"We need to do a scan...."

I fear that moment when the world stops.

I fear.

Can't we find a happy medium?

Cripes.

Yesterday was mostly sunny and not too cold & damp. Today? Rain, snow/rain mixture, gray, wet, and for me.... painful, painful, painful!

What are you gonna do?

Well, I spent the last couple nights burrowed deep in my bed covers with an electric blanket warming things nicely. (Those blankets are better than sliced bread!)

Getting out of bed however, was the end of feeling comfortable for the day. I finally turned my furnace on to chase away the worst of the inside chill. It got down to 46 in the house and that was just too damn cold!

I must admit, it has made showering easier. HA!

The weather guys are bantering about rain versus snow, low fronts, high fronts, cooling down, warming up... cripes. I just remember something I read years ago and it makes me think of it every time I hear the meteorologists speak.

"What is God's favorite TV comedy show?


The Weather Channel.

Well, there's no denying it now!

What I woke up to...

How it ended...

Yes... fall as indeed arrived in The-Almost-Great-White-North. Though I'm loathe to admit it, it was awfully pretty to look at.

It snowed all day... the near silent hiss upon the glass, watching the green leaves becoming heavy, bending under the very wet, heavy snow.

It did my heart good. Curled up in my chair... reading my book... sipping my coffee and every now and then glancing out at the snow and thinking, "It's just so pretty."

Obviously, I had not yet had enough coffee.

Then, I had to clean two inches of snow off my car. This was when I began to view this beauty in a whole other light. It weighed a ton, turned to complete slush when trying to push it off my car and all in all, it was just one big "plop-y" mess.

Yay.

Oh well, on the bright side, it didn't really stick to the sidewalks so I didn't have to shovel.

Yay!

It's a one dog night....

I just looked outside and saw my grass and flowers & plants covered with a rime of frost. It sparkles and looks rather magical... It was raining too so that just adds to the beauty.

Well, time to crawl back into the warmth of my bed, and go back to sleep. I'll probably look at this in the morning and go, "What the? Wait? How?"

Cripes.

The first frost of the year...

We had our first frost last night. just a small touch. Vanishing quickly as the sun broke the horizon. It won't be too much longer before we reach full color, it's a shame we had two days of heavy, blustery winds.

As a result, the beauty of the maple reds are gone and we're left only with the golds and oranges. Still, even though the color augers fall... it is a welcome change. The anticipation of the another season passing us by is something I must admit I enjoy.

Planting the fall flowers, anticipating what will bloom in the spring. Smelling the crisp sent of falling leaves in the air... the rustle of leaves as they dance their way around the yard... I love fall.

I may rethink this statement come mid-winter, but for now... my mood is a gentle one. I look to the mountian... the sun shining and the color moving ever farther to the top, each day a little closer than the one just passed....

Dog days of summer

This post was started weeks ago, so it'll seem strange (but then... aren't they always?) HA! :)

Boy, had it ever been! High temps, high humidity and thankfully a lake right out the back door. I love vacation time! (Even if fall is slowly making it's appearance in the Not-So-Great-White-North. Maple trees leaves are getting redder everyday, the box elders shifting towards yellow.)

Wow.

It's obviously been awhile since I posted, (Hmm… what was my first clue?!) So much has gone on, I'm not sure where to begin!

Okay, injury. I am almost as normal as I'm ever going to be. (Stop laughing.) I am hindered by the deviation of my chest, due to the numerous surgeries, so I've gone as far as I can without injuring the already 'bad' conditions of my upper body.

Although, my twisted sense of humor let me get a quick joke in on my physical therapist. I came back after my vacation, and while she was accessing my progress, she noticed me wince.

She said, "Oh! You've digressed a bit with lateral movement."
With a straight face I said, "Yeah… I probably shouldn't have gone water skiing."

As her jaw hit the floor, I couldn't help myself and started laughing. She laughed with me and said, "I should have known you'd pull something like that!"

By the end of the session, she determined that my shoulder is as good as it is going to get in regard to the limitations of my natural chest damage tolerances and decided I no longer needed to return.

While I was happy that my physical therapy was ending, I will miss my PT. She is such a great person and has a natural ability to be invaluable to those patients that need her guidance and support. Here's to you Yo, and thanks for all your great help!

So back to summer… the dogs, the heat, the water, my sense of smell…

The Castle on the Lake & the boys in the water

It was a glorious week in Almost-The-Actual-Great-White-North. It was heavenly. The house was gorgeous, the lake crystal clear and inviting, the sun shone, the mosquitoes were almost nonexistent (with enough bug spray on some days...) and there were lots of places to sit outside with my laptop and just enjoy myself.

Well, except for those times when the boys went swimming and didn't bother to shake off until they'd traveled the 20 feet just to stand next to me and then, "Okay! Let's drench her!" Which was why I had a towel draped over my laptop every time we were outside!

Thus begins, "Why I lost my sense of smell. (And why that was okay!)
So, it's just me and the Naughty Twins alone on lakefront property. Trees, birds, being able to enjoy very careful swimming (because of my shoulder, I didn't swim out much farther than I could touch. Drowning was at the top of my, "What not to do on Vacation." list.)

The Naughty Twins however, had no such list.

No… they were completely under the spell of, "WATER!! WATER!! TENNIS BALL IN THE WATER! STICK IN THE WATER! DUCK ON THE WATER! LOON OH LOOK A LOON! IN THE WATER!!!" You get the drift... pun intended.

So it wasn't long before I was being routinely soaked with flying lake water rife with the lovely scent of 'Eau de Wet Dog' Yeah, it's been awhile. I was just extremely happy that they didn't find any dead fish to roll in. Or didn't manage to harass a crabby skunk.

Had that happened, They'd have spent the week in minimum security lock-down (Read that as; the screened in porch with self-door-opening ability thwarted!) So, as time went by, I grew oblivious to the lingering smell of wet dog.

And as always, we just had fun. Well… except when they were driving me batcrap while in the water. Basically? They wouldn't listen to me if their lives depended on it.

There two reasons for this. First and foremost… they're water dogs. Water dogs could care less about listening to me when there was more than just a puddle of water available to play in.

Stupid water dog breeds.

Anyway, I'm sure I sounded like some old, fish-wife: "Harley! Get back in where you can touch! Come on knothead! You can't catch the Loon." (This said to a dog swimming further & further away from the dock and chuffing like he was going to sink at any minute.)

"Aaaawwww Jax! Get off me man…! Go away dammit, those were clean shorts…"

"Holy crap! What the hell is that!?!"

"You dorks, when are you gonna figure out that if you bite the tennis balls in half, they sink."

"You just aren't hearing me are you? Dumb dog." (This from the woman that is at that moment talking to the dumb dog!)

"Cripes, Jax that stick's waterlogged! Go find one that'll float."

"Harley! Get back in the house now!"

"Awww... Jax don't!" (It's simply amazing how much water a Lab can displace in direct proportion to how long ago it was that you changed into clean, dry clothes.)
I also found out dogs have the ability to 'canon-ball'

Who knew?!

It rained a couple of days and they would be dancing around because they had to go potty. So I open the door. They go out, turn around and come back in. They did this twice, sometimes three times. Because it was raining. They didn't want to get wet.

It boggles the mind.

So as the old saying goes, "All good things must end." And so did my vacation at the lake. I would truly have loved to stay there forever.

Although the people alongside of us would have preferred I didn't… as all they heard was:

"All right Harley! That's it buster! You get out of the water right now! I mean it!"

"Don't give me that look! You trying throwing left-handed when you're right-handed! Besides, my shoulder hurts."

They then cheat of course, by plopping a big, beautiful head in my lap with those damn eyes… those liquid chocolate eyes looking up at me… sometimes with an added little doggie sigh….

"Okay, but I'm only throwing one more." As I proceed to throw it five more times... I'm such a sucker for those "puppy dog eyes"

Cripes.

Nah-nah-na-na-na-nah! I got the FRONT!!!

And the Wookie's pissed about it.


"Stop drooling on my leg. Ick!"

"Okay… get in the back. No, don't lick me! Get in the… okay then just lay down.""Look dog… he got up here first, so stop pouting." I did manage to refrain from saying, "You can ride in the front seat on the way back. ("I'm pretty certain I would have had to check-in with a shrink if I'd done that.)

"AGH!!! You can't sit on me when I'm driving!"

"I heard that little pffft! You thought you'd just be all silent and dea.... Oh my God... Dog, what the hell did you eat?!"

"One more fart like that and you're riding in the trunk!"

Yeah, who needs kids to make you sound like your parents when you've got a pair of dogs that fill the bill perfectly?

After vacation, it was time to try and get back in the swing of things. I often wonder why I try that… it never seems to go the way it should.

There were appointments to go to (or in my case at least one I forgot about) phone calls to answer, bills to pay (sucks that) way too fricking much laundry to do… You know? I think the old adage, "I need a vacation from my vacation!" is truer than the average person knows.

"Hey! I don't have thumbs, so open the food will ya'?!"

"What do you mean you cut your hair!"

So I stepped back into the chaos that can be my life. I sorta missed it actually. I began to run around like a hamster on a wheel. Hey! Do you know the difference between gerbils and hamsters? Hamsters have more white meat. (Credit Bobcat Goldwiaith for that one!)

Anyway… it was back to milk runs and Dad's house, Pug walks and puppy antics, confused cats and slave labor, blood draws and bruises… just my same old, same old.

Soon, the party that seemed such a long way off was suddenly was next weekend! How did that happen?!

Louie the Land Shark

(I'm not sure who's in the most trouble? The sofa sleeper or the photographer that was laughing about it and taking pictures of him snoring away!)

It was time to finish taking senior pictures, cropping, enhancing, "Wow… that shirt makes you look like you've got big hooters!" then printing and choosing, "There's too many good ones!" then finally submission to the yearbook advisor.

The green of summer is quickly being extinguished as the red and yellows become more prevalent. There are leaves in the grass and on top of the car daily now…

The nights begin to have a bite every now & again, prompting 4:30 a.m. window closings and daytime searching for blankets deep in the heart of the scary closet.

Looking at the window air conditioner and knowing it's time to take it out of the window. Then shudder as I realize that means cleaning an area of the floor up in the scary closet.

Cripes.

Cool overnights and falling leaves aside, it's been so beautiful weather-wise you can hardly believe this is actually The-Not-So-Great-White-North!

Sunshine and 70 degree temperatures, grilling out and doing the 'lizard thing' on the deck. Laughing and enjoying one anothers company, pancakes and Farmer's Markets, a great day for a drive and just being okay with today.

That's how it should be and so it is.

As the days get shorter, the evenings grow cooler, enough to make even me get up and pull a pair of socks on… and drop the window to only halfway open rather than wide open…

Hearing the bells at the elementary school a block away and then hearing the shouts of excitement and play. Catching snippets of conversations, "Mom! Mom! I colored this for you!"

"I'm hungry!"

Me? I smile as I hear them walking by, wondering if I was once so enthusiastic at that age? (I imagine I was but probably just because school was over for the day!)

Sitting here looking out the window, watching them shuffle through the leaves that have accumulated along my sidewalk. (Yup… time to call in the slave labor, the grass is long enough to be holding the leaves hostage!)

It's better when the grass is shorter. Then the leaves blow effortlessly into the neighbor's yards! Hahahahahaha! (Just kidding… kinda.)

Knowing I need to put this computer away and accomplish something today. Well, something other than updating my seriously overdue blog post!

New stuff on it's way soon!

I know! I am going nuts, running around like crazy, burning the candle at both ends and tearing what's left of my hair out.

In other words, typical day-in-the-life-of-me!

I'm working on a huge post and once I finish it I will post ASAP!

Happy freaking fall!!!!!!!

(Why I'm glad I'm not hospitalized!)

So, physical therapy is progressing. After having a tough time with it at the beginning of the week, I'm doing much better. I've graduated to certain exercises done with weight added.

Yeah... I laughed when, she said, "We'll start with 8 ounces and work up from there." I'm thinking, "Cripes! Eight ounces? How stupid is that?!"

Fifteen repetitions later, I'm sweating, burning and feeling sick to my stomach! It's amazing how just a few ounces affect the ability to move the rotator cuff of an injured shoulder! I was really glad I hadn't voiced my disdain over a "mere half a pound" out loud.

Cripes.

So I'm doing my home exercises three to four times a day. And hopefully I'll go up to 16 oz. on my next visit. Of course... I suppose I could live with only eight if I had too! HA!

Medieval Torture 101

Please kind sir, don't let them use the electric stimulus thingies on me anymore! They're just so creepy feeling! But the ice packs are nice though, especially when they give me the warmed blanket too.

You guessed it.... physical therapy three times a week has commenced.

Cripes.

I'm no wuss when it comes to dealing with pain, but MAN!!!!!! You know it hurts when you break out in a sweat.

So I graduated to my first 'color' band to work with at home. There is that part of me that says, "Riiighgghtt... like I'm gonna do that at home!" But of course, I do it because I know how severe the consequences are if you baby the injury.

I didn't sleep well last night, I hurt and couldn't get comfortable. We had some incredible storms roll through the area overnight. A big maple tree came down on my street, and a couple miles from my house they experienced what the weather guys called, a "micro-burst" which is an intense downdraft in one very small and contained area, leaving behind the destruction brought by tornadoes.

The only good thing about them is that they last little more than seconds to one or two minutes (rarely). But the damage is substantial, nonetheless. It was so sad to see an oak tree with a trunk a good five feet around, just turned into a pile of shattered limbs and leaves.

The good news was that the house and garage on the property didn't take the brunt of it and only had some shingles and trim torn off, and some heavy lawn furniture that went through a patio door. It sure could have been worse and luckily the only injuries were some cut feet from the glass as the family took cover.

I was feeling kind of low today on my way to physical therapy because even with doing the exercises at home, my shoulder seemed to have taken a step or two back in its healing. I was in a lot of pain and the mobility was extremely limited. It was an unexpected turn.

I learned something interesting however, the therapist told me that it wasn't crazy or even slightly odd... she told me weather fronts like we had moving through our area affects the nitrogen that is housed inside our joints, a natural buffer the body creates to assist the movement of joints.

So there really is something to the old adage of Grandpa's knees telling us when it's going to rain! Who am I kidding? My knees (and my back and previously and numerous broken wrists, fingers, toes etc. ) have been telling me that for years! HA!

So it's early to bed for me tonight. After PT I was exhausted and couldn't get home soon enough. I read for awhile, answered emails and then thought, "Go to bed!"

So this is me... still wounded, but coping. The headaches are all but gone and I can turn my head now without wincing. But I'm anticipating my next PT appointment with dread (kidding) so, I'm calling it a night at the unbelievable time of 8:30 pm! This will either give me a decent night's rest or just a couple of hours. No matter which, I'm crashing!

Being 18 again is not as fun as you'd think it would be and why I believe in angels...

First of all, head injuries suck. Especially when they happen for a stupid reason. (HA!) Of course, as most of you know well, I’m klutzy and therefore I don’t even have to spell out the exact details of how it happened!

Living on limited means makes me conscious of saving money whenever I can. So rather than do laundry and running my dryer during the day, I do it at night. As it uses a lower cost per unit of electricity. In this case, it was midnight. Of course, since I hardly ever sleep, doing laundry at midnight isn‘t much of a hardship!

Which leads to how I was made to feel 18 again despite my advancing years.

It was 12:30 a.m. I go downstairs to empty the dryer, I squat down (rather than bend because of my back being twitchy) Yada-yada-yada… go to stand up, lose my balance and there is nothing to grab but air.

It was about that time that the back of my head made contact with the very solid, heavy 80-year-old-house-built-with-really-good-strong-lumber side of the staircase. The only give there was probably my head.

Cripes.

Yeah… it’s been quite awhile since I’ve been ‘star struck’ but trust me… I saw Orion and the Big Dipper and they were spinning! I knew I didn’t get up right away, but I don’t know if I actually lost consciousness, but I sure was stunned.

I managed to get to my feet and up the stairs. This was not easy. It seemed as if my 10 step staircase had morphed into 20 or 30. My head hurt sure, but I thought I was okay. I sat down in the living room and would have actually shook my head in amazement over the fact that I have done that same thing time and again and never lost my balance before… but it hurt too much to shake anything.

After about 15 minutes, I decided to get up and look at my head when a very strange thing occurred… I was transported back the days of my, “I’m-legal-now!“ drinking. Translation? The room started to spin, I kept listing to the left and it seemed as though I was as hammered as I had been when I first turned 18. When I could say, “Hey! This is fun!” (Well, it was until the next morning anyway. It was no surprise that by the time I was 19, drinking to excess had lost most of its luster!)

I managed to get back to my chair and begin to assess. I knew I had hit pretty hard, and the possibility of closed head injuries became foremost in my mind. (Well, the small part that hadn’t yet completely reverted to 18 again)

The more I thought about that, the more I thought about the actress that died a few months ago from a brain bleed. Then I began to calculate in the fact that I take blood thinners.

Creepy.

It was around this time that I began to realize my neck & shoulder were becoming rather painful. Then I started to get seriously nauseous. That was the final straw. That is one of the big warning signs in head injuries… well, that and feeling 18 again.

I decided to drive to the hospital and get checked out. Part of me was saying, “No... driving is not an option here, Injury-Girl!” (My secret identity) When, while searching in vain for my car keys and not finding them, my head suddenly felt like it’d been slammed again.

I dialed 911 and went and sat on my front porch, talking to the 911 operator until the ambulance arrived. I have wondered if I might have lapsed into unconsciousness had she not kept me talking.

These are FANTASTIC people by the way… if there is anything done where you live to benefit Emergency Dispatch Officers, EMT’s and the like… contribute in way you can. They deserve recognition for their fine service to the communities they serve!

The 911 operator thought it was nice of me to ask they not run into my neighborhood with the sirens on. (It would have disturbed my neighbors big time! And they’re normal people that actually sleep at night!) Once they arrived she signed off. I then realized I was talking on my cordless house phone.

Damn.

Hmm… leave it on the porch? Put it in the mailbox? The EMT’s putting my neck in a brace seeing as I can no longer turn my head without it bringing tears to my eyes… so I hand it to the other EMT that has my purse and ask her to stuff it in there.

She laughed.

There is one thing I can say with conviction. Ambulances may have air-shock-ride stabilizers but the bottom line is they are nothing more than ¾ ton trucks and they ride like lumber wagon buckboards!

About a block from my house I began hoping the next lurch & jar of a pothole would make me lose consciousness! The ride was a nightmare of pain with each bump. I have decided there are only two ways to ride in an ambulance. Out cold or too altered to care. (Guess that's why they call them 'Emergency Vehicles, eh?) Sadly, I was just shy of both! With each jolt I became fully aware of one thing. I was glad I’d called 911. I was hurting. For me that, was saying a lot.

I was wheeled into the ER about an hour after my initial fall. I was becoming wracked with pain. With so many medication allergies, they were concerned with what they could safely give me.

In the meantime, I was very thankful I wrote down all my medical issues, medications and general medical information and kept a copy of it in my purse. I was not sure if I was answering some of the questions correctly.

With IV’s inserted, labs drawn, pain meds on board and braces in place, I was quickly wheeled down to CT for my first scan of the night. Then came the shoulder x-rays. I’m no stranger to pain and discomfort, but some of those positions for clear pictures brought tears to my eyes.

I vaguely remember thinking to myself that I was glad I’d already had some pain meds… I think without them, I would have actually cried out. Or just cried period.

Sucks that.

Once they cleared my C-spine the neck brace came off but the x-rays showed a separated shoulder. The good news being it appears it is a Type 1 separation which means there aren't any tears or worse, a complete separation that would require surgery down the line.

YAY!

Once back in the ER the doctor explained my injuries in detail so I understood all they’d discovered. Which of course, was a little silly considering the fact that the pain meds were at their peak.

That means that a Q & A about pain would have gone something like this,

“Are you still experiencing pain?”

“Yes.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate your pain at?”

“Who cares?”

Yes… Demerol is a beautiful thing when you’ve just scrambled your brains.

After a few hours of close observation, they did a repeat CT and we were rewarded with an all clear on the possibility of a sub-dural hematoma. So they decided not to admit me for additional observation.

DOUBLE YAY!

Seeing as it was just around sunrise, I decided to cab it home and was glad to walk back through my door and the general chaos that is my house.

Oh… those car keys I couldn’t find? Well, there they were, big as life, right on the counter top.

Who says there is no such things as Guardian Angels?

It's 1:30 a.m. what a surprise.

Here's the scoop... go to http://www.realcaliforniamilk.com and vote for Kirsten, eh?

So... go vote for Kirsten and if you're bored, play the "audition tapes" as well as the "deleted takes" etc. they're hilarious!

And some of you wonder where I get my sense of humor.

"Take off you hosers!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Cripes, I need to sleep.

Soon.

Gees....

It's still raining.

So...

... first I had to take the lawnmower out. Then I had to take the gas can out. Then I had to go inside the icky shed. (From the size of the web I saw, there was no way I wanted to meet the spider!) *Shiver here*

Then I had to untangle the hose from the snowblower. That only happened because the piece of twine I used to tie the rolled up hose wasn't the strongest and it broke. (Yeah... that's why it was in the shed... it was only good for shredding and placing it in the strands on the tree branches for the bird's to use on their nests.)

Then I whacked my elbow, smacked my shin... then got the flipping hose and sprinkler out... then dragged it to the front yard... then hooked it up... then got soaked because I didn't have it threaded right... then got sprayed when I moved it into place and then smiled with my accomplishment.

I went inside, set the timer. After an hour and a half I went outside... unhooked and rolled the hose... (wrapped it up with bungee cords this time) and put it back in the shed. TaDa!

It's raining.

The storm...

It was a dark and stormy night.

The lightning flashed!

The thunder crashed and crackled!

(Kidding... kinda!)

>And we got about 17 drops of rain.

Cripes.

I wish I could take credit for the picture, but it's just one from a clip art file.

So, I have no choice... I'll be watering tonight.

Yay.

I must though as my Tiger Lilies have withered to almost nothing and my Fire Lily pods, still remain closed. While this annoys me, the thing that annoys me more is the phenomenon of: "How-in-the-hell-can-the-hose-and-sprinkler-get-to-the-back-of-the-fricken'-shed!!??" I just used them! (They must have crawled there, hoping to once again remain out of my grasp after about three years of slumber. Go figure.)

I have dragged them out once again and will hook them up after the sun goes down, maybe this time I'll be able to set them up without getting about four gallons of water shot up my nose. Seems I turned the little arrow the wrong way when I tried to set it up. I only messed with it because I felt wasting water by soaking the sidewalk wasn't the most practical or ecological thing to do. That and I've no interest in paying for wet pavement!

Until then, I'm going to go lay down. My neck and back are bothering me, and I've got a headache from adjusting to my new glasses. I think my spine just has to get used to the short hair. I of course, HATE my short hair and have shed a few tears.

She cut it too short on top and now I have to resort to crappy 'girly-girl-stuff'' if I'm going somewhere special. (You should have seen me ripping through the linen closet looking for a curling iron, mousse and hair spray!)

I never did find the curling iron. That's probably okay because I've had it since high school and it would probably be safer in the trash... and the hairspray was kinda yellow... (discovered that trying to pick out all the lacquer that had formed over the hole in the spray nozzle) oh and I grabbed the wrong can and almost put shave cream in my hair instead of styling mousse. (Thank God it wasn't Nair!!)

Gees-O-Pete's!

See... this is why I loved my long hair! Get up in the morning, take a shower and decide... Pony or braid? Hmmm... how about a braid pinned up in a comb! All right!
New hairstyle for the day!

Although, when I mailed the package I felt pretty good. Weirded out mind you, and trying to adjust to the strange image of a possible cougar attack because of my exposed neck. (I guess it's a good thing there are no cougars where I live!) but I felt pretty good all in all and I hope that my hair provides comfort to some woman out there that needs to feels some semblance of normality in the chaos that is her life right now.

I guess my hair doesn't look that bad... just different is all! :) But it beats being bald by a landslide!

Going... going.... gone!

Well... I did it and here's the proof!

There is the entire ponytail... all 23"'s of it! Yup, it measured 23 inches and it weighed a full 7 ounces!!!

This is ponytail number four, and the second longest. (The one I cut the day before my first chemotherapy treatment measured just shy of 27") However, this one is special.

As most of you know, my previous donations have been to the Locks of Love program. They supply custom-made hair pieces for children undergoing chemo or those that have diseases such as Alpecia that rob them of their hair.

The wonderful makers of Pantene, now have a similar program for women dealing with these same issues. So this will be my first donation to them. I remember all too well of what it was like to go through the agonizing chemo treatments, wearing a scratchy, obviously fake hair wig.

The wig that people looked at first, before they looked me in the eye... for someone like me, who sported waist length hair for most of my life. The loss of my hair was devastating.

I do this, because of the knot in my chest when I remember how I felt, the compassion I feel when I see women that look as I did. Trying to be comfortable with something that is inherently uncomfortable by its very nature.

So I do this for them... I do this for me... I do this to honor those that endured the exhaustion of living life without hair, and of course those that not only endured it, but were not able to live a life beyond it.

If you would like to contribute to either of the programs, you can find more information at:

http://www.Locksoflove.org

or

http://www.beautifullengths.com

I know not everyone is open to growing their hair, but I just found out a very cool thing, maybe you might be able to do something like this...

A Troop Leader's daughter has leukemia. Her fellow troop-sisters, all decided to grow their hair to the minimum 10"s needed. Some already had longer hair, others needed time.

They finally all went to a local beautician and had their hair cut, which was sent to Locks of Love. There was a total of seven ponytails from 10" to 15" in length.

Their Troop-sister received one of the precious headpieces and wore it for the next three years. She has since gone into remission and has been cancer free for just over two years!

It was an incredible thing for these kids to participate in, to experience firsthand how simple it was to make a difference in their own day to day life and more importantly, in the life of another.

Speak kindly, live simply, love generously and be well...

love, c