Meet The Pup
Meet The "Wookie"
Thing Two actually thinks he will pull this away from Thing One
Yup... You keep dreaming kid.
I have discovered quite a few dog "weirdness abounds" moments in the past three days.
Let's start with some Wookie scary smart stuff. Since Thing Two has the annoying and inevitable puppy trait of minding like the King of Canine obedience... Until something catches his attention, (like a rock or another dog or a new pile of poop, you know... it's a puppy thing) So as a result I wisely make sure he's hooked to the cable so I don't have to go on any puppy retrieving adventures.
To get the full impact of the first scary-smart episode, The Wookie takes about ten seconds to figure out that the pup is restrained while he has full run of the yard.
I must digress to set the scene. This was the first day of the 5 a.m. wake-up. I'm barely conscious and dressed in boxer shorts with pigs and hogs dressed in leathers, riding motorcycles and a tank top sans bra (As an aside, I never go out in public braless as it would most likely scare small children) and oh yeah... I'm barefoot.
I hooked up Thing Two and they both raced down the deck steps. I winced as the pup hit the end of the rope before I could stop him. He lived, so that was a good thing!
A moment later I'm stunned out of my coma by the loudest, most God awful barking I've ever heard to date (this would change in days to come) so I fly down the frost covered steps to discover the Wookie sitting a foot out of the pup's reach.
Thing Two is going beyond ballistic and so Thing One decides to try to out bark him. Keep in mind this is happening at roughly 4:50 a.m. Well, when I hit the steps I thought that yes, they were pretty cold. Then I hit the cement at the base of the stairs. It literally took my breath away.
This wasn't good as I couldn't even tell them to be quiet. In hindsight it wouldn't have mattered because they couldn't have heard me if I would have tried. I managed to get a hold of them and get them back into the house.
The only thing I was happy about when it came down to running out into the frozen yard with the temp at a balmy 22 degrees was that at least if I stepped in poop it wouldn't be squishy. You know me, find the positive or kill something! HA!
Entering the house, the puppy was in full body wag, licking my feet and legs and the shameless instigator had gone to the laundry area to wait for his treat. Yeah, like that was gonna happen!
What they got was a stern "Kennel up!" Thing One hung his head and kenneled, the pup resisted. Not wanting to reward bad behavior (refusing to enter his crate by coaxing him with a treat) I took out a butter knife, put a pinch of peanut butter on my fingers and tickled his nose with the scent until he walked right into the kennel pondering what the heck he was smelling. Then I praised him once he'd done what I'd wanted him too. I even let him lick my fingers... I loved all the kisses I got from him... puppy kisses could heal the world!
Score: Me: 1 Them: Okay, 1 for originality.
The next day was when the real fun began and I discovered that the puppy is never going to be Lassie. The Wookie had begun to feel some pressure with the pup bugging him when he's trying to go up & down the stairs as well as jumping him anytime he was within the inner rope circle and so on. Since the Wookie was getting reluctant to go out (and I was already dealing with him "marking" inside the house!) I brought the pup inside and kept the Wooker out on his own.
Thing Two didn't like this much. He was jumping up on the patio door, whimpering and yipping his general frustration. Finally Thing One was ready to come in, and it was just reaching the high 40's and as per usual for me I was in shorts and barefoot. (Hey... it was the afternoon and I was actually showered and dressed for the day!)
So the Wookie and I walk up the patio door, I grab the handle to slide the door open and got the shock of the year! The blonde thing had managed to hit the door lock during his frenzied jumping and had locked both of us out of the house!
Now he was sitting on the other side of the glass, tongue hanging happily out of his mouth, dopey, blonde puppy look on his face, wondering why we weren't coming in. My mouth went dry, my head started throbbing and I wondered what a stroke might feel like. (I wonder this a lot)
I'm not joking when I say that when I tried to pull it the second time and got the same result, I looked down at the Wookie and he looked at me, cocked his head as if to say, "Well, now what do we do?" Yet another scary-smart moment. Some of the time when I look into those eyes, the hair on the back of my neck stands up.
Part of the immediate problem was the fact that this is a very well built house. Read that as, high windows that open out, not up, steel entry doors and dead bolts. As I was contemplating the replacement cost on one of the windows I heard the neighbor next door.
I walked around the side of the house and asked him if he perhaps had a key or code. He didn't so I asked him if I could use his phone. Then I decided to go try the side door first. In an utterly rare occurrence for me, I discovered the night before I had forgotten to lock the side door and thus gained entry to the house.
Thing Two met us at the door and wasn't quite sure why the two of us just walked past him. I think we were both considering careful, evidence free ways to commit puppycide. (I'm thinking that the Wookie is continuing to harbor these thoughts!)
Kids...
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