Why I hate happy dogs.

My time with the "Blonde Thing" is drawing to a close. While I'm bumming because no matter what I write, I love to be around dogs. But I will, as always, be very happy to be back home as well.

No doubt Ludie will like this too. Maybe. Probably? Oh who am I kidding... He has been plotting my death since Tuesday. I'm sure he's honed it to perfection by now.

Oh yeah, the reason I hate happy dogs... Well, as you've probably read through many other posts I feel I've outlined most reasons quite clearly. I discovered a new one with the "Blonde Thing". I must digress a bit to give it the right tone.

Daisy's people have a very large property. The back 1/3 of it has been reclaimed as "natural" (It's becoming quite a popular thing to do... It's a great way to revive butterfly and song bird populations)

Anyway, the Blonde Thing's parents have cut "trails" through this kind of lush prairie type section. This is particularly nice because when taken on the trails, she prefers to do her thing behind the privacy and cover of the tall grass. Me? I applaud any idea that will prevent me from having to pick up dog crap.

During one of our many trips through the trails, she went off into the high grass and inadvertently flushed a rabbit. As I had hold of the leash, it took me a moment or two to get my arm back in the socket. But, finally it did pop back in. Yeah. It was fun. Yay.

So over the course of days and various 'field trips' she was anxiously jumping into the grass hoping to have more fun. Picture a kangaroo-type jump... Bounce-land, bounce-land, her legs kind of stiff. So she's doing the Kangaroo-Watusi" when I see her ears perk up and I knew it was time to dig in.

But before I could reel her in...

She dropped her head down to grab it...

Her head reared back...

She lunged again...

And flipped her head back...

Something was in her mouth...

Grass was to high to see what it was...

She dropped it...

I'm yelling and pulling with all my strength...

My mind's screaming "Oh crap! That poor baby bunny doesn't stand a chance!"

Her head goes down...

Then flips up....

It was one of those surreal moments, in which time stood still...

Then continued in slow motion...

The creature in the dog's mouth was no bunny...

But rather, the one thing in this world that can literally make me pee my pants.....

IT WAS A SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!

That was all the adrenaline rush I needed. I hauled back on that leash and Daisy was catapulted from the tall grass. Seriously... flying through the air. The snake, was thankfully flung the other way when I pulled Daisy out.

I was terrified as I realized my ears were ringing and I was getting a serious case of tunnel vision. I've only passed out once in my life, and I clearly remember ear-ringing & tunnel vision just before I went out cold.

I headed toward the house at a dead run. Daisy (a one year old Golden Retriever) could barely keep up...

As I hit the door, got myself in then got her in.... I just made it to the couch before my body gave out. I wondered "Hmm... Just what does a stroke feel like? Whoa.... Nevermind... I may have the answer in a moment..."

Everything... knees, lungs, basic brain function, (like blinking)...
Nothing was working right.

It was close to an hour later before my blood pressure got down to normal. Then I kept having those nasty 'shivers' you get like when you've seen a really creepy spider or a centipede or something. Yuk.

By now, you may realize I have a slight fear of snakes. Yeah, yeah, so it's more than slight... humor me.

It's amazing to think that after all I've survived in my life...

All I've had the courage to stand up to...

The things that I've stood up for...

...A 12 inch garter snake scares the ever-lovin' crap out of me. It's truly embarrassing let me tell you. The only reason I made it to the house in the first place was the mere fact that there was a pissed off snake in that grass and if I hit the ground out there....

I would have been on the ground

with a snake!!!!!!!!!

In an earlier post I decided I needed a drink... The night that happened? I slept with Prince Valium.