Animal Experts...

We have all seen or heard from various animal experts on one animal related subject or another at some point in our lives. Usually, one will say, "Blah blah blah & blah" and the others follow suit. Then you get those experts that say, "No! It's yadda, yadda, yadda!" You get my point.

Today I am addressing the subject of: Why dogs & cats eat grass as they aren't normally herbivores.

Over the years I have heard lots of speculation. The animal is lacking in some vitamin, or the animal isn't getting the proper nutrients because it's food isn't of proper quality...

My personal favorite has to be, "A dog will eat grass because it has a stomach ache and it wants to throw up." Ick. So, that's essentially Canine Bulimia? Hmm... who knew?

No, I would have to say that's a pretty stupid conclusion for two reasons. A) The dog doesn't always barf, and B) I'm fairly convinced no animal wants to barf anymore than we do.

So why, you might asks is this an issue? Well, I took the Happy Dog (Herein referred to as the "Blonde Thing") to the dog park. A tired dog is well behaved dog. Well, in theory anyway...

First I need to back up... I take her out this a.m. and after God only knows how many minutes I'm thinking to myself, "Self? Do you think that this mutt's time on this earth is going to be shortened considerably if she doesn't stop seeking the world's best poop spot?"

I answered, "Yes... She will die soon."

Cut me some slack... I hadn't even had coffee yet. For that matter the mere fact that I actually made it out to the back yard was in and of itself pretty monumental!

After a few more minutes of her "boogi-ling" around I discover that she's grazing! So, in the house we go. What a beast! I stumbled around muttering under my breath... Mostly wondering if any one's written a book about "101 Ways to Kill a Golden Retreiver." (Get a grip! I'm kidding!) She is, of course a happy dog! Grr...

So later in the day it's off to the dog park. Loads of dogs everywhere! Chasing one another! Jumping over one another! Running up the hills, down the hills... It was like that picture of the dog tree party in the Dr. Suess book.

What does she do? Why she runs up to almost every adult and drops at their feet so they can rub her belly. I try to get her interesting in playing with the other dogs. Not happening.

I decide to walk her up and over one of the hills because there are a pair of huskies and a pair of black labs running around on top of it like they were on fire. I try to get her interested, nope, she's got her nose to the ground & I'm thinking, "Yeah, ok... Do your thing then you'll feel more like playing." I get the little bag thing all ready.

What do I discover? SHE'S GRAZING AGAIN! AGH!!!

No matter what I do, no matter how I try to involve her with other animals the most she does is graze and run up to people for belly rubs. Cripes. After an hour I gave up on even trying to curb the grazing... I decided that the Blonde Thing is simply channeling her 'Inner Bovine" and call it quits.

As we're walking to the car, I realize that the gray velour seats in my new car would probably not look too nice with green crud barfed up on them. I consider the trunk... But then some people came by and I had to reconsider. (again... Kidding)

But the drive home was an adventure. I made sure I was in a lane whereby the slightest sound of gastric upset would be countered with an immediate pulling off the road and exiting the vehicle in under 10 seconds. Thankfully, there were no incidents.

Once home, I decided the back yard was the place to be. The cat that had been bugging me non-stop to be outside was harnessed up and left to wander the landscape, the dog was attached to my chair and I'm peacefully reading my book. Then I look up and see.... the cat grazing on every bit of grass he could reach from his tether.

Seemed like a good time to have a drink... Cheers!