I got squished...

I could use a little of this kind of tranquility right about now!

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted last! Things have been the general all around chaos of my life. So I'm not sure why I'm surprised.

Anyway... I went in for the "Boob Squish: last week... Unimaginable fun those...

And for the random guys out there reading this...Image taking your "boys" putting them between two Plexiglas panels and squishing them to about half their mass... Then hold still for 45 seconds... Yeah... It's that much fun. I don't know about your "Boys" but my "Girls" are very grateful that this testing is only required once a year!

Part of the utter chaos in the recent weeks had to do with the "squish"... They did some extra shots, then an ultra sound of one of my... nevermind. Of course with my health history... The extra attention really freaked me out.

The OB/GYN, then the mammography Dr. Reassured me they are certain it's benign, etc. etc. but that doesn't help much when you have a cancer history like mine. You know and believe them and what they're telling you... but your deep inside your mind that little nut of fear cracks and it whispers, "Maybe it's not gone..."

It is a feeling that can barely be described. After a couple days, I relaxed... Super-glued the nut back together and moved passed it. Then the GYN Doctor's Office called to tell me they want me to see a surgeon for a "Just in case" follow-up.

I cried for a full day.

Then I pulled myself together and made some decisions, one of which was I'm not going to see the surgeon. I figure since she removed two other benign breast lumps from me in the past 20 years, she doesn't need to see me... she can just review my test results.

For one reason, I think the OB/GYN Doc is just doing a little "CYA" and I also worry about the visit being paid for by insurance. She would be the third Doc involved, so why take the chance for non-payment without a concrete... "We need to know exactly what this is?"

So the nut is glued shut once again.

While I was dealing with that particular mindF***, something even better happened!! The transmission went out on my car! You wanna talk about a mindF***!!

It stands to reason. The car had very low mileage for a car that age, the body & exterior were practically pristine. Problem was that it wasn't driven the way I drive... not that I slam down the gas and don't do maintenance or anything like that, but I do drive everyday... that can be a bad thing.

In hindsight, the shape it was in should have been an indication of how big of a change would be taking place I after I got it. But can you do? Look at cars for sale in the $2000 range? Well over 100,000 miles easy.

Spend that on a car, tranny goes in seven months... yeah, that's what happens when you buy a car with high miles... well, the same applies with the lack of mileage on a car 15 years old. It all comes down to what's gonna happen is gonna happen.

What sucks is that to get it fixed would probably cost $200 to $250 over what I paid for it! It's such a fricking mess. It reminds me of the old saying (or was it just a t-shirt?) if it has "Boys" or "Wheels" it'll give you trouble! To be fair, there are ones out there that read "Girls" or "Wheels" of course, using boys & girls is just being polite with regards to wording for the post!

So other than that... weather's been up and down. Yesterday was wild! Massive thunderstorms rolled through, we got hail... again! It shredded some of my open lillies but thankfully didn't do much damage to the buds coming up behind the open blooms.

Wish that would have held true the last time we had hail... it really affected my irises. It was disappointing but I knew it was a possibility. So what can you say?

I say it's time to go and dry my dishes and throw another load of laundry in the washer... thrilling thought isn't it?

On days like this, there's not enough caffeine in the world....

What it seems my life is like some days...

So... I've been debating about a week as to whether or not I was going to put this on my site or not. Then I figured, well... it's one way to tell if anyone is actually reading it!

Here's what happened....

As I've mentioned before I have to take blood thinners because of a nasty blood clot in my leg. I was instructed that while on them, I wasn't to use a razor. I have an electric one but, what's the point? I'd shave in the morning and would literally have 5:00 o'clock shadow! Actually it was more along the lines of 2:00!

It was winter and the only thing I sleep with is Ludie. He has more black hair on his legs than I have on mine so he doesn't seem to mind. Then it began getting warm in the Not-So-Great-White-North. Then it moved on to actually hot.

Since I wasn't too thrilled with shaving three times a day to deal with the shadow, I decided that if I used lots and lots of good quality shaving cream, a brand new, good quality razor cartridge and did it slowly and carefully I could use a razor.

No, I couldn't.

I bled for about a half hour. I was beginning to think I was going to be needing a transfusion before long. I used a half a box of tissue!

On one leg!

And they're long legs!

So there I was... facing the thought of ingrown hairs, stubble and twice daily shaving for the rest of the summer.

Not to mention the fact that in two days I have a woman's "Most prize-winning, can't wait until it rolls around each year!" Gyno appointment. So not wanting to gross out my Doctor, I'm really giving this whole dilemma serious consideration.

Then, as so often happens in the still of the night... those times when insomnia is able to keep you up but unfortunately, not quite lucid... I saw a commercial for Veet.

You've probably heard of it. It's the cream you put on your legs and then you use the fancy little squeegee to wipe off all the hair that doesn't come back for twice as long as shaving!!

Me thinks, sleep deprivation fuels a lot of impulse buying. Which would explain the number of infomercials on TV in the middle of the night!

The next day at Wally World I stumbled upon the Veet. I'm not kidding about sleep deprivation... I was tripping around Wally World and in hindsight shouldn't have driven myself there either!

Back to the Veet.

I read the label thoroughly, and since it only had to be on for three minutes and there was a sensitive skin formula I decided to give it a shot. In high school I had used Nair once. I didn't bother with the "Patch Test"

I paid for it too. I had chemical burns on my legs that even blistered!! It was the worst week of my life and that includes what I went through with chemo! So this time, I was taking no chances what so ever.

Did the test... perfect. It even has a bit of a pleasant smell. Not great, but definitely not horrible. I follow the directions to a tee. I make sure I apply it evenly, I am very careful to rub it on not in. I'm actually quite pleased with myself... this is going great!

Except it took a lot longer than I anticipated. I had to go potty. I'm thinking, "No biggie... I can hold it for three more minutes." I couldn't. I was starting to do the pee-pee dance and I'm realizing that even when the time is up I've got to scrape all this stuff off and you shouldn't hurry it... Etc. Etc.

Fine. I still have to go.

I'm standing (albeit, bent over a bit because by now I really gotta go!) and I think to myself, "I don't want to sit down because what if it takes the paint off the seat?"

Which of course begs the question, "If I'm worried about the paint, should I really have this stuff on my skin?"

So I finally decide to "hover" like you do in public restrooms! Genius! So I hovered.

What a relief! Then the dinger, dinged and I squeegeed off the foam and my hairless legs look outstanding! I'm very full of myself because, man... I did good!

Then I got in the shower.

I had planned to take a shower afterward to make sure I had all the stuff off, so on and so forth. Then I realize I have a lot of hair in my hands.... and all over the soap... I'm begining to freak, trying to figure out what in the hell was going on!

When it hit me. When you hover... you bend your legs and lean a bit. That means your thighs touch either side of your, um... Venus. So after a breif shriek, I slammed off the water, barely wiped dry and ran to my room to look at myself in the dresser mirror.

During this particular event Ludie had been peacefully sleeping on the end of the bed. By the time I hit the doorway of the bedroom he was roughly four feet above it and running in mid-air. I sorta felt the same way.

Stunned... I looked at myself moaning loudly. There I was... strip of hair, bald stripe, center hair, bald stripe, strip of hair. I looked like some mutant 12 year old with mange.

The worst of it was trying to decide to "fix" it by removing the outer "edges" or just leave it. I eventually decided to leave it because I'm just not exactly the Playboy Bunny Racing Stripe type.

The next day I did tell my Gyno that she was free to laugh when I explained what I'd done. She just told me that nothing phased her, especially after her first "pierced" patient. I had to agree that I guess I'd have thought the same way after that.

You know what really ticked me off though?

I had stubble the next day and 2:00 shadow the day after. All that and it didn't last as long as the scabs from my razor run-in!

Just call me Racing Stripes.

Man... what a week I'm having!

Do you have food? No?

Do we get to run now? No?

Then go away so we can sleep.

Those of you that know me, know that these beauties belong to a friend of mine. They are part of her Sleddog kennel in Alaska and she will be making her first trip to the 2007 Iditarod! It's so exciting and I'm not even going to be there!

But really, how can you not be excited? Just to actually know someone that will be competing is just so cool! She's been training for more than a year and there's still a huge amount of training to do yet... But you can bet I'm going to find somebody that has cable or satellite TV to tape race coverage for me!

Other than that we've had some rain, some sun, some hail (earlier tonight) the last one really bummed me out because the hail really shredded my newly blossomed Russian Irises. I just hope the ones that haven't bloomed yet will still open. It was getting dark and I couldn't tell if the pods were as damaged as the blooms were.

I've been making plans to have one of my best friend's daughter over the summer here and there. Her Dad is in Afghanistan and Mom is a "farm wife" and the young one will need two things... a break from her Mom, the chores and being cooped up out in the country!

I'm looking forward to doing fun stuff with her as well as the mundane... sometimes just an overnight and maybe a pizza and a movie can be more than enough. I just want to keep things as positive as I can for her. I'm even willing to have her bring friends along or stay with her when her Mom's working to enjoy having her friends for a visit. It should be fun.

Well, I intended to post more, but the thundering is picking up as have the lightning flashes so I'm outta here!