It's been Monday with a vengeance, no joke...

On days like these, I spend most of it wondering, "Exactly what is the reason I'm not curled up in a ball under my bed covers?"

I have no real answer for that... and yes, it does scare me because I really should know that!

Here's the "official" sequence the day was supposed to take. Four easy little steps.

1) Go to friend's house to wait for repair guy.

2) Plan on waiting a while as the arrival time was a choice of either, morning or afternoon. Wisely picked afternoon because of the innate ability to still be walking into door frames during much of the "morning" choice.

3) Call relative that needs to teach you the correct way to embroider. Tell her that you'll be there, waiting for repair guy so she can come over to fix the total mess you've made trying to do it by yourself.

4) Tell her she can come anytime after 11:00 a.m. because even if repair guy is early, it's still close to her house and she doesn't have to come all the way to your house.

Now how could a plan like that fail?

When the sequence of events goes like this:

1) Forget to reset alarm, wake up late.

2) Run around like crazy, go slamming out to the car.

3) Car doesn't start, only goes, "Er-rar-rar-rar" because it hasn't been run for many, many days.

4) Try to think of someone that could come jump start it.

5) Remember reading something in the car manual about not doing this. (Yes, laugh... I read manuals! But it sure saved my butt today!!)

6) Take manual back into house. Find pages that tell you in no uncertain terms that jump starting is not advised because it can fry the car's brain box. Moan loud enough to make cat pick his head up and look at you.

7) Decide that it will be best to let it warm up a bit outside, maybe this will help. Decide time is not yet into the danger zone. Outdoor temperature is much higher. Go outside and try it again. It doesn't go "Er-rar-rar-rar" this time. It attempts to cough to life then floods.

8) Go back in the house.

9) Resist the overwhelming urge to scream. Do ten deep cleansing breaths, then head out to try once more. HOLY CRAP!! It worked!

10) Drive away from house. Drive to within 4 miles of friend's house. Remember you still didn't find your misplaced friend's house key.

11) Swear.

12) Turn around. Halfway back home remember friend's daughter has key!

13) Alter course to navigate to her "out-of-the-way-from-where-you-are" place of employment.

14) Reach the school and realize that it's President's Day and there's no school.

15) Swear. Again.

16) Realize it's almost "afternoon". Realize that repair guy might be early. Remember that relative is probably waiting there too.

17) Swear. Big, honking swears!

18) Wonder vaguely what a stroke feels like.

19) Call relative, leave a message... she's not home, this could be bad.

20) Return home, call repair guy to tell him you're not there. Hope desperately that he does not already know this.

21) Day begins to look up when you discover he hasn't been there and you can reschedule. Yay!

22) Leave more messages to relative... Freak out.

23) Drive to friend's home to check for relative. She's not there. Try to hope this is a good thing.

24) Wonder if the Miracle Blades will work for Hari-Kari.

25) Aunt calls. She's not wigged out. Says, "Heck yeah! Come on over!!"

26) Aunt makes you laugh, makes you coffee and shows you how to not screw up the embroidery.

27) Realize you can't find your keys.

28) Hear your Aunt call you by your first and middle name. This makes you smile.

29) Walk to car, look in window and discover car keys lying on front seat.

30) Get weak-kneed with relief when driver's door isn't locked!

31) Return home, call Dad. Start telling him about your day.

32) Phone battery dies. Call him back on cell phone and tell him you're going to bed until March.

33) Post the exciting events of your day and laugh at how simple yesterday was when compared to today.

34) Turn off computer and go to bed.

Good-night.