Coffee... nectar of the gods & why it will be a bad day.

As usual, when the alarm went off this morning, I hit the snooze. Then I hit it again. Then when I woke up because I had to pee... that's when I discovered the snooze on my relatively new alarm, stops sounding after the snooze is pushed twice. So... I'm late starting the day. (cool shark, eh?)

So after I quit bitching to myself about not catching the 2-punch rule when I read the manual of the new clock, (Yeah, go ahead and laugh) I got up.

As per the norm of my life... mornings are hard for me.

This is usually due to the fact that my average bedtime can be anytime between 3 & 5 a.m. or it can just be that I wake up so many times during the night because of pain and discomfort. Just my body's quirky little responses to doing something like unloading the washing machine and so on, sets it off pretty handily.

There are about a million other things including the weather too. And to think I use to secretly laugh and roll my eyes when my Grandpa would say, "Ah-yup... we're gonna get some rain, my knees are just-a throbbing!"

Now? I could give a hands-down, better, more accurate forecast then any of the weather guys, oh excuse me... "meteorologists" around here do. In actuality, pretty much anyone could, as they usually tell you something along the lines of, "We could get some precipitation overnight with flurries and maybe even up to a few or so inches of accumulation."

Is it just me or did he just say, "Basically you people should just look outside tomorrow morning and figure out if you have to shovel or not, because I don't have a fricking clue!"?

But I digress... back to having a bad day. I am not the steadiest person in the world, first thing in the morning. I often times do things like walk into doorframes. I've only recently realized just how often I do this because of the bruises on my shoulders, forearms and the like because of being on the blood thinners.

Picture this: Step out of the shower... glance up... see a reflection in the mirror... AGH! Oh... nevermind... it's just me. Followed quickly by, "What the hell... now how did I get that one?! Eew! Is that grape juice injected under my skin... Cripes!"

I fall into many of the "joke" categories, my favorite is, "Not a morning person doesn't begin to cover it!" followed by "I'm up and dressed what more do you want?"

This morning was pretty standard, I bashed my knee coming out of the bedroom and my shoulder going into the kitchen. Yup, that's gonna leave a mark. Because of my morning handicap, I have devised a system in which I have a water container that holds the exact amount of water I want. All I have to do is take it out of the fridge and dump it into the coffee maker. Then I put the coffee filled basket where it belongs, then hit the switch.

Time to pee. Gee... things thus far are going well! For whatever reason, all my animals to date like to join me when I go potty. If I dare to close the door, I hear about. So do the neighbors. Ludie immitates a tornado siren with amazing clarity.

Back to the bathroom... Ludie joins me to chat. You know, some day when he's gone, I'm going to have a really tough time without that "cat and his slave" quality time. Suddenly he bolts from the bathroom and no... ya potty minds... it wasn't because it was stinky in there!

I am washing my hands and smelling the coffee and thinking, "Hhmm.. it doesn't usually smell so strongly..." I turn the water off and I become aware of a sound. I notice Ludie run into the living room, look at me, then race back into the kitchen...

At this point I'm thinking, "Is this his Lassie imitation?" as I head to the kitchen. I clear the kitchen door frame (without walking into it! Yay!!) and I realize that I never put the pot under the coffee basket. I did dishes last night and it was in the dish rack.

So there I am with a coffee maker is about half empty with coffee running everywhere... it's still half full of water, the warming plate is hissing and spitting and I have to try and lean over the coffee maker (which, by the way is on a metal freestanding cupboard unit) to get to the plug which is also behind the microwave!

I managed to get it unplugged and surveyed the disaster. I sopped up what I could with rag towels, dumped the remaining water from the maker, hung it upside down in the sink and went back to bed. I didn't care how much I've got to get done, this was the best option all around.

I spent about 45 minutes curled up in a fetal position under my blankets until I finally convinced myself that I could do okay without coffee. I was wrong about that... I took the coffee maker apart, dried everything off with a hair dryer and made my second pot of the day.

I'm just finishing my last cup of coffee for the day, I am roughly 4 & 1/2 hours behind on my "Getting Ready For The Trip" schedule but hey...I'm now wired for sound! It should be a piece of cake! Mmmm... I wish I had some cake, Ooo, some chocolate cake... then I could have a sugar buzz too!

Hey, there's caffeine in chocolate too... sweet... It's a good thing our "flurries" only dumped 3 inches of snow last night. Or I'd probably talk myself down from the diet ledge and go find some cake. I am so hopeless...

Hey! What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that tears your leg off, then runs for help.

"Good boy Sharky! Go get Mom & Dad!!!"