I can't believe how much a single day can be happy and a bummer at the same time.

How fast and silently our lives fade away...

Another birthday come and gone. I should rejoice. I shouldn't be here. The things that made me laugh my way through the worst of times seems to be slipping through my fingers... how does that happen?

Gradually I guess.

I'm a year away from 50 now. I guess it's time that the plastic dinosaurs, taped up Far Side cartoons and other "eccentric" items are removed here and there from my desk.

I wonder where my sense of humor has gone and how did I become okay with it? There are brief flashes from time to time but mostly... it's been toned down considerably. I know the word I'm looking for... appropriate. My life has turned into what others would perceive as appropriate.

I guess if push comes to shove... I've exchanged appropriate for the lesser past. I've never acted my age... never felt the need. Now suddenly, it's on my mind all the time.

I miss who I used to be.