And the snow's gone.........

Fog advisory In Effect Tomorrow Morning!

Wow... The Not-So-Great-White-North has been experiencing some very strange weather. In October the temps were running routinely at or 10 degrees below the "normal" range for this time of year.

The snow melted and we are actually breaking previous record high temps for November! There's not so much as a hint of snow on the ground, and the deer hunting was more like a race to get the deer gutted, registered, skinned and cut up for immediate freezing. Simply put... all this weather stuff is just nuts!

It was nearly 60 degrees yesterday! I was wearing only a tee-shirt and jeans while cleaning out my Dad's rain gutters. (Oh man... I hate doing that!) Primarily because it takes me two days to recover! I've made liberal use of muscle relaxers in the last 24 hours. It's the only thing keeping me moving. You know... not needing a coat, hat & gloves outside at this time of year verges on the creepy!

My fearless musher doll, is facing pretty nasty conditions as well. In Alaska no less! They've only had one or two scant snow falls and as a result daily training for the Iditarod is becoming an issue.

There's a possibility that they may get snow this week. Odd as it is, I am praying for snow. For her.

I'd be perfectly content to spend the rest of the winter snowless. I don't even care if we don't have a white Christmas! There I said it! Bah, humbug on me, but from a practical standpoint... Nope, sorry would still be happy without any!

This is going to be short. I'll try to add more tomorrow. I called dibs for one of my "Mental Health Days" for Monday. It is clearly time for one... I do it ever so often, the phone goes unanswered, and no calls are made. (Other than checking in with Dad)

Mostly I do it to try and pull my scattered self together... the last couple of months I've been like a BB bouncing around in a boxcar. Hence... a mental health day.

Since one of my more cynical thoughts for gray, gloomy days is, "A day like this really helps savor a bad mood..." With tomorrow's fog warning, it seems appropriate!

HA!

Who knows what the end of the day will bring... maybe I'll upgrade from BB to pellet!

The snow is here!

Ooo... It's so pretty! It really is!

Okay... That's about all I can muster for now. It is quite lovely though. I will enjoy that thought until I have to go outside and shovel. I've been debating the last couple of hours if I should do that.

The original predictions of the weather men said, "Oh... Flurries up to perhaps five inches in some of the viewing area."

Roughly translated, this means that they won't know how much we're gonna get until it's over either.

Here's one for you... What is God's favorite television comedy? The weather! (Come on now... You had to see that one coming!)

Back to shoveling... The reason I'm considering shoveling now, even though it's still snowing.... Is because there is already an easy three inches on the ground. If I shovel that off, then maybe when it's over I'll only have to shovel off an additional two (or four or five or start begging the neighbor for help!)

My biggest worry is my abdomen, I've just decided I'll try it and then take it from there. Wish me luck, I've a feeling I'm going to need it!

This one's better than "Lizards"

WAX is "Not your Friend"

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair hot wax and now...the "cold" wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the cold waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

How great is this? A "cold wax" kit! No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!

Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.

WHAT?!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxy-ed myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and *Hoo-hoo* are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or *hoo-ha*?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on....

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the crap out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Well this hardly ever happens!

I'm checking on friend's home while they're away. I discover that the heating system has malfunctioned and I need to get a repairman there.

What's so odd about that?

Well... Here in the Not-So-Great-White-North, it's a rare day indeed when you go outside to warm up in November! Completely unreal! It is strangely foggy and floaty.

I keep thinking about that stupid movie, The Fog (the original, not the remake... uh-oh... There's a hint as to my age!) but it does give pause, especially when the weather people are saying there's a possibility of hitting the low 60's in a few days!

Too weird for words.

Although it would have been cool to have been like this on Halloween!

It's getting cold again... Part Two

Since this is gone...

I know this is coming...

Yay.

Anyway... It's just the way things are when you live in the Not-So-Great-White-North. At least the brutal winds have subsided so that means, twelve degrees is once again twelve degrees. Removing the 'Wing Chill' factor from the mix makes the weather changes easier to take.

Currently I'm observing Ludie getting stoned. Now this isn't something I do for kicks. Honest. It is just the first step in his future extended visits to grandpa's house. I'm hoping that doing this will help his anxiety level when it comes time for him to stay ten days or so at Dad's.

What I can say for sure is that it's not doing much in helping with my anxiety level over it! If I didn't have to drive I'd be sharing the valium with him. I guess that I really don't need that this morning. While I've been sitting here and writing this, I was debating if I should make another pot of coffee.

I finally decide yes as I finish the last of the coffee in my mug. So I got up, went into the kitchen and discovered I still have almost a half a pot left. Hmm... I really thought that'd drank the whole thing already.

Soooo... no, I really didn't take any valium. And yes, I really need to make a second pot.

Ludie, by the way, is lying on the foot of my bed. If I turn around and look at him, he purrs. When I look away he stops. Look at him... Purr. Look away... Stop.

Yeah, I remember meds that good! (come on! I was talking about when I was having chemo and stuff!!)